The decisions will not get any easier

Leaving Pennsylvania is not going to be easy. I thought it would be when first came here to go to college. I would say that I'm a more introverted, solitary person, so I didn't expect to make a ton of friends and have deep rooted connections here. It is nice to be wrong sometimes. It happens. I can admit when I'm wrong. I am also not someone who has, in the past, made strong female friendships. Most of my longest friendships were with guys. It's very interesting that I've grown so close to so many girls in my time here. There is one in particular who has been my support system in many ways. She has seen me at some of the lowest points of my life and has not left my side. That alone is cause for accolades. I will also admit that I love this girl with every ounce of me. I would do anything for her, as she would for me. For a short time, I thought I might consider staying on the East Coast, but I know that my heart and my home is in Minnesota, so I will return there soon. I only wish this decision didn't hurt as much as it does. Opportunity could be greater here. I'm certain that the money would be better, too. Those things do not matter much to me. I'm not cut out for big city life or the fast pace here. I've adjusted, but I want to readjust to what I know. I need to be home. I will be losing people with the distance between, but I knew from the start that this was a temporary thing. An experience, if you will. I don't know what the future holds, but those here who love me will hopefully keep me in their hearts. I know I will. Besides, planes are a fast mode of travel.

Living with depression

My closest friends know the battle I must wage against the demons in my head each day I wake. I do not like to hit people over the head with this tidbit of information for a number of reasons. People often get a certain impression of me when they first meet me, and it's usually correct. I am good natured, sweet, caring, giving, etc. There are many things I've done in my past that I deeply regret. I've always prided myself on my ability to rationalize any situation. However, being someone who is extremely sensitive, I am prone to making stupid mistakes. You wouldn't imagine that I would be, but there it is. Some of these things I simply cannot get into in a public forum such as this. I will say that I've lived my entire life dealing with a spirit crushing depression that almost got the best of me a few years back. I am still here. I am breathing, living, loving and experiencing everything I've dreamed of. I have righted the ship, for now. I know it will be something I will always have to control. I will overcome. I will win. I do not have any other option.

In my browsing of Facebook, I realize my evolution

I tend to get friend requests on Facebook fairly often. Usually, I don't know the people. Sometimes, the requests are from other editors or poets. (I am an editor, of sorts.) My latest friend addition has a bit of an incendiary nature, but it's in the good way. The way that incites thought. Looking at the views of people, in 2010, that can produce a commercial about how same sex marriage is bad through the bad acting of children only shows their intolerance, ignorance and extremely bad taste. This friend has been posting these videos in disgust. I've been just as dismayed watching them. I am legitimately afraid for the future, and that says a lot coming from a 23 year old female. The slow and steady reorganization of religion this century worries a logical thinker like myself. So what happens now? Does a slow resurgence of the right wing make you scared? It should.

A new beginning

Hi. It's Anna Katherine. I'm back to blogging and this time, I plan to stick with it. Tomorrow will be the first official post. For now, I'd like you to visit here.